There is no unconditional yes. Whenever you say yes, you’re also uttering a background no. Whenever you allocate time to one pursuit, you say no to everything else you could have done with that time.
Even though i mostly stream movies and tv shows , I still like to browse the local Video store (as a reminder of a bygone age).
To stay competitive against the streaming services, they have introduced a “no late fees” policy. In a way they are saying yes to their customers who complained about having to pay late fees when returning a movie after the due date. But this policy has had a side effect. Because there are no late fees, customers keep movies they rent for longer periods of time before bothering to return them. So when people go to this particular store to rent the latest releases, which used to be stocked abundantly, they are more likely to be all picked out. The videos are in people’s houses instead of on the store shelves.
Even though i have heard the stores employees apologize for this policy on numerous occasions, usually in response to customer complaints that the new releases couldn’t be rented – the damage has already been done! The value of knowing you can go to this store and rent whatever you want is no longer there.
By saying yes to one group of customers (those who had problems with late fees), this store is simultaneously saying no to another group (those who value availability first and never had a problem returning a movie on time).
Now if I were the VP of Marketing for one of their competitors, I’d charge ahead with some sort of “guaranteed in stock” campaign to begin saying yes to those customers that this store just bailed on.
There’s always a trade off when you say yes.
The word no often gets a bad rap, but realize that every yes includes a no, and every no includes a yes.
When you say yes, are you saying yes to your own best goals and plans while saying no to what’s less important?
Other people may pressure you to say yes, but before you do so, take a look at the no you’ll have to bear. Do you say no to your family in order to further your career? Do you say no to good health habits in order to fit in with your peers? Do you say no to setting your own goals in order to say yes to the reactive bait others lay before you?
If you want to say yes to what’s really important to you, you need to learn to say no a lot more often.
When you say no, usually the person who hears it will react negatively, sometimes mildly, sometimes strongly. Don’t let that bother you — their reaction has a lot more to do with them than it does with you. If they push you too much, I suggest you simply turn it around on them by emphasizing the no that would accompany the yes. For example, “Why are you asking me to say no to my business, and so on, just so I can say yes to your request?”
If it’s not what you truly want, say no.